Four years ago, I was leading product analytics for a large online product: huge traffic, a strong team, complex problems. I loved the scale.

But slowly, I was burning out.

The project needed a lot of attention, and I was already half-living in another world: consulting, building my own projects, trying to sell, and thinking more and more that outside of employment there might be more money, freedom, and joy.

The problem? Leaving was scary.

A job means salary, status, and safety. Your own projects mean nobody has to pay you just because you’re smart.

In the end, I got fired for poor performance.

At first, I felt ashamed and hurt. Then I realized: they were right.

I wasn’t doing the job I was being paid to do properly. But after that, I stopped torturing myself and started actually living. And that turned out to feel better than any salary.

Sometimes an unpleasant kick is more honest than months of reflection.

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